Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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