I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I stole a fireplace last night.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
