Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
