I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
