Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
