I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
