i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
