Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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