they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
