My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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