He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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