Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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