Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
