a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I supernannyed him into submission
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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