Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
