halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
