drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
