i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
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My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
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Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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