Plan B is the new Plan A
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
