There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
