Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
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