i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
