how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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