none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
