my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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