question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
