There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
