you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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