covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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