I'm eating all of the evidence.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
