if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
home. puking in laundry basket.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
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