C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
