I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
