Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
