The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I love you. Go after that dick
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize