She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
