I think scott just propositioned me for sex
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
