the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
