D3 body, D1 cock
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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