New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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