I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
