the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I am one with the molecules
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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