she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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