he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
