youre lurking in front of me
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
