its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
