these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
