yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
