he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
