Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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