True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
