I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
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OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
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