She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize