i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
