Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize