i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
