Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
