We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Congratulations! We have a period
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
