You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
