I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I need to align my fucking chakras
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
