Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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