hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
