so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
