I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
